Thursday 27 September 2007

Cheer up, emo kid!

Before I start I would like to put in a very strong disclaimer. I do NOT support Emo’s, I hold no time for them and really, they make me throw up in my mouth a little.

Now, onto the point of the day.

I like individuality, I am all for it which is why some weird miniscule section of my brain is feeling some sympathy towards today’s “Emos”. How is it they are any different from past mistakes? Do we not look back on the 80’s and cringe? The 70’s and sigh. Hell, those 1500’s broads weren’t too fashionable either!



I know it is hard to think that anything could be as tragic as those little rats hanging out around Hungry Jacks (wasn’t that my spot 5 years ago?!) so lets go on a little trip shall we?

I am going to leave out everything prior to the 70’s as this was when TV had started to mingle with music and was taking not just the sound but the “looks” to a much wider audience.

Now I know I will step on a lot of toes with my first look as most of you guys sway towards the punk friendly spectrum but really… I have to. And I am going to back it up with quotes n shit so don’t expect anything else I write to be as good as the next paragraph…

In the 1970’s we had the “punk” style. This was seen to be the hight of originality each person thought they were paving the way in their own style and fucking “the man” at the same time. Siouxsie Sioux was famously quoted as saying “What people don't understand is when punk started it was so innocent and not aware of being looked at or being a phenomenon and that's what everyone gets wrong.” Exactly, everyone was looking at them and copying. Original? My arse. In the back ground they had Malcolm McLaren and Vivian Westwood manufacturing their “originality”. But really I have to wonder if anyone truly thought that pimpled faces and torn pants, shirts, shoes… well everything, was a good look.



New wave… can I just say… that hair!



As much as I adore make up and think that the Pamela Anderson look is a stunner I just can not get my head around the New Romantics… that is just scary!



Goths with their moon tans attempting to dress Vampire-esque but only getting as close as corpse. They look even more then stupid in daylight and as much as I hate to relive that horrible teenage phase I have hung out with more then my fair share at “the deck” complaining their little undead hearts out about the heat. Here’s a tip – COLOUR! White! Try it; you might not suffer from dehydration next summer!



Ok this is the bit that will hurt me the most. This is my era of love and the styles that I actually enjoy wearing but really, grunge? People, shower! In the words of George Thorogood, “Get a haircut and get a real job!” And nobody ever looked good in a flannel. Other then A.J. in Empire Records…mmmm….



The new Millennium brought with it the Ravers, resembling semi-retarded kids with a penchant for fluro spandex.



And then M&M got everyone on the white boy homie bandwagon. Grown men with their pants around their knees showing off their Christmas boxers with giant tissue boxes on their feet and the inability to figure out which way a hat is meant to go.



And now? We have Emo. As much as I really wish I could say “skinny little white boys”, I can’t really segregate it to the weightless population, as Australia has a growing trend in obesity. This has lead me to have seen many more muffin tops overflowing from the skinny leg black jeans then I can care to remember. Skinny Legs only EVER look good on Kate Moss or the Olsen Twins, please remember that!

However this generation must have done some research, they have taken their whole look from past trends. We have the tight pants of Elvis, the skin care of the punks, the hair of a New Wave, the make-up of New Romantics, a colour chart rivaling any Goth, the emotional maturity of those damn ravers and I am sure under all that black somewhere they have the boxers that mummy bought them for Christmas.



So let us not boo and hiss when ever we see them (was that just me?) just think back to that horrid photo you have of your self from 5, 10 even 20 years ago that you can’t bring yourself to throw out but wouldn’t show it to anyone for the world. Maybe they’re not so bad after all (too far?).

1 comment:

Laura said...

hehe a bit!

It's not the way emo kids dress that bothers me per say. Though actually, I don't care how skinny you are, if your a boy you shouldn't be wearing skinny jeans. Any, I digress; it's their attitude that annoys me. Especially the ones that hang out in Tesco, why do they do that? Why?